When Does It End?
by UberDuper
Summary: Koizumi just wants to live without getting hurt for once. Is that so wrong? [Contains Spoilers for SDR2, Rated M for sexual content]


**Author's Note: **This story contains language, violence, and sexual content including a rape/non-con scene. You've been warned, I hope.

* * *

Mahiru Koizumi has been mistreated by men her whole life. Her father couldn't take care of her and boys at school made fun of her. She never had any male support in her life. So she learned not to trust them. To yell at them and scare them was the only way to get them to get away from you, much less help you. The only people who ever did anything for her were women. Her mom helped her with her photographs, when she was there. Her female teachers taught her what she needed to know. Girls made friends with her. You could tell her she was biased towards men, and she would agree with you. 'A man needs to step up and be strong', she might tell you. Or perhaps she would say 'Men shouldn't whine about things like that.' She had very high expectations when it came to men. 'Had' being the key word here.

Mahiru's expectations were turned head over heels when she arrived at Hope's Peak Academy. Her class was relatively small, just fourteen students including her, with an even amount of boys and girls. At first, things were normal, following her expectations. Teruteru Hanamura and Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu were very outgoing, not in a good way, and their perverse and aggressive demeanors respectively only served to reinforce her opinions. And there was poor Mikan Tsumiki, who no one else would help. Surely, this school was just the same, the students were simply much more talented. Once she got to know them, however, everything changed. Well, almost everything. Hanamura was still perverted, but at least Mahiru knew his soft side, his love of his mother and his family restaurant. Kuzuryuu cared for two people, both girls at that!, Peko confessed to her. Mahiru was pretty sure who, but Peko wouldn't tell. Nekomaru Nidai was loud, brash, and blunt, but also extremely supportive of his classmates, encouraging them on when they didn't think they could.

Everyone was nice to her, everyone, and her expectations weakened. But old habits die hard and Mahiru still had trouble not chastising men for things she didn't deem appropriate. She still preferred taking pictures of girls. But boys, mainly her male classmates, began appearing in more and more of her pictures. And she began letting things slide that before she wouldn't have dreamed of. Life was getting better, but they changed a whole lot more with the introduction of the reserve students.

* * *

Maybe two or three months after she got into the school, Hope's Peak introduced a separate part of the school, known as the Reserve School. Regular students would pay tuition, getting to go to the prestigious Hope's Peak in return. The school set a rule that regular students were not allowed on the Reserve School grounds and vice versa. This didn't stop the students from being curious about the new area. Mahiru's class devised a plan to check it out, mainly having everyone play rock, paper, scissors and sending the winners over. Mahiru won, much to her surprise, but wasn't surprised by her companion, Nagito Komaeda. He acted humbly, but Mahiru could see the pleasure dancing in his eyes at his win.

They made pleasant conversation on the way there, Komaeda being a pleasant and rather charming boy. She wasn't all that interested in him, but he was one of the kids who helped change her perspective. When they got to the Reserve School, Komaeda suggested that they split up, so they would look less suspicious. Mahiru wasn't too sure it would help anything or that they even looked suspicious in the first place, but agreed anyway. As she wandered the Reserve School grounds, she took a few pictures, but quickly stopped. Everyone looked... sad. It was strange. She didn't understand why everyone was they way they were. They should have been happy, right? They did get into the school, after all. Lost in these thoughts, Mahiru was surprised when someone tapped her on the shoulder. They must have mistaken her for a reserve student. Her pride was hurt, but she turned anyway, no need to be rude. The person she saw standing there made a feeling shoot through her that she'd never felt before. It might have been admiration, for the hope she saw shining in his eyes could have taken her breath away. There was something else though, a feeling like butterflies in her stomach. Even his voice was filled with that pleasant hopeful sound.

"Hey uh... do you know where the language building is? I'm kinda late for my English class." He looked at her expectantly, and her mind was blank. What do you say to someone like him? She tried a few times, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly. He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, a sheepish grin on his face. "Ah, I must have bothered you, I'm really sorry, I should leave you alone." Before he could go, however, Komaeda came up, a look of disgust and disappointment on his face. It must have been something he'd seen, although Mahiru had no idea what could make him look like that. His face instantly brightened up upon seeing the boy she was with, and Mahiru wondered if he felt the same way she did.

"Koizumi-san, who's your friend?" Komaeda grinned and stuck out his hand. "I'm Komaeda. It's great to see such an interesting person here! Everyone else seems so... hopeless." The boy took Komaeda's hand and Mahiru felt something in her stomach, and wondered if she might be sick. She pushed the feeling down as the boy spoke up again.

"Ah, it's great to meet you. I'm Hinata. Hinata Hajime. I've got to get to class, so I guess I'll see you two later?" Komaeda nodded vigorously and Mahiru simply gave him an awkward smile. "Great! Maybe we could get some food or something." They watched as Hinata walked away, then left for the school themselves and it was half way back when Mahiru realized she never told him her name.

Maybe it was because of that look in his eyes or maybe it was because of that feeling, or maybe even because he was normal and not something she could never be like all her classmates, but Mahiru found herself attracted to Hinata. He had a strange type of charisma that drew her in. She ended up spending a lot of time with him, not revealing her talent to him. Sure, she thought, it wasn't an amazing talent like some of the others, but she knew of how the reserve students hated the regulars and didn't want Hinata to hate her too. Her classmates made jokes about how she was gone a lot, and she laughed it off. It didn't bother her, it was true, but the thing that did bother her was Komaeda. He would occasionally shoot her a glance that looked... disapproving. She shook it off as her imagination, but started ignoring the looks he gave her.

* * *

Mahiru and Hinata had sex for the first time the day before the winter break. They had started dating for a few months prior and she had admitted to not wanting to go home for the break. He had reassured her that whatever she wanted to do was probably the right thing. It had escalated from their good bye kiss and ended with her calling out his name in a way she never thought she would. It was as they laid together in his bed that she told him her secret, that she was a Super High School Level Photographer and he had only held her closer and told her that he knew there was something special about her. And then she cried and poured her heart out to him, all of her insecurities and difficulties and she thought about how selfish she must have seemed, and he held her close and listened to her and reassured her. It was the only thing she had ever wanted, to be told she was wanted and that someone thought she was worth something and he had smiled and smiled and Mahiru never wanted to let go of him because she was afraid he would slip away.

* * *

And slip away he did. One day, without warning, he had disappeared, failing to meet her for their daily meeting and she had gotten worried. She asked around, even going so far as asking the headmaster, Jin Kirigiri, when she passed him in the hall. The headmaster gave her the most cohesive and distressing answer. He told her about how he had been 'accepted' by the Hope's Peak board of directors for an 'undiscloseable project'. Mahiru realized it must have had something to do with his change of attitude, having become less of the loving and cheerful boy she once knew, becoming cold, cynical, and blunt. He had still been nice to her, although she saw the effort it took and it had absolutely broken her heart. After his disappearance, Mahiru's life became rather pale and routine, even with the life from her classmates, which seemed to be waning for some reason as well. Life at Hope's Peak seemed to be taking a turn for the worse, where once it had been such a joyous place.

* * *

Mahiru sits in her room, staring at pictures she had taken of Hinata a long, long time ago. She had barely noticed the time fly by and each passing second only makes her wish he was here even more. He hasn't come back since his disappearance in her second year. It's halfway through her third year and she still misses him. Her bags sit alone on her bed, neglected, and she supposes she'll have to get up and go soon, as Hiyoko's plane leaves in a few hours and Mahiru's going to her winter show, she has to meet her at the airport. A knock at the door shakes her out of her daze and Mahiru glances out at the snowy weather before going to answer it. She grips the cold door knob and opens the door, surprised to find none other than Komaeda standing there.

"Komaeda? I thought you left for winter break already." Mahiru's rather confused now. She snaps back to attention when he speaks up, his voice, strangely enough, leaking sarcasm and arrogance.

"Yeah? Well that isn't the case. I'm here, right now." They stare at each other for a moment before he speaks up again, seemingly irritated. "Well? You gonna let me in or what?"

"O-of course." She steps back, letting him in. Why is he acting like this? She had never seen him like this before. Sure, his mood had deteriorated with the others but he was usually the most happy. Now, he's just straight up rude. She watches as he kicks the door shut and locks it. "Hey, I prefer my door unlocked because-"

"Shut up." The words assault her, and Mahiru can't believe what she's hearing. Her old anger, one she thought she repressed flares back up.

"Um, excuse me? I let you into my room and you have the nerve to-" She's cut off again, this time by a slap across the face that nearly brings her to her knees. Her hand slowly moves up to her face, cradling her sore cheek and she looks at the previously nice boy with a look more vulnerable than she would have liked. "What the..."

"You're too hung up on that boy."

"Wh-" Mahiru's confusion returns. That boy? Surely he doesn't mean...

"That Hinata boy. He was just a reserve student after all. Nothing like you. Nothing special. He wasn't even _near_ your level. You should have forgotten about him long ago."

"Why you-" She can't believe the words she's hearing. Tears prick at her eyes and she angrily clenches her fists. "You have no right to talk about him like that! No right!"

"Hmph. I'll admit, your hope is admirable, but so was his. And look how he ended up. A guinea pig for Hope's Peak. Like one of Tanaka's hamsters, scurrying around mindlessly to please its master."

Mahiru Koizumi's heart skips a beat. Guinea pig for Hope's Peak? What does that mean? Komaeda spies the look on her face and scoffs.

"You didn't know? How pathetic of him. He didn't tell you that he was leaving you so he could get some _real_ talent?" Mahiru feels her breath leave her. Hinata... left her? On purpose? Komaeda takes a step forward, uncomfortably close, and sighs. "Yeah. I can't believe it either, leaving such a precious girl all on her lonesome, no one to protect her." His fingers ghost over her chin and she pushes him away.

"S-stop. Stop it now." Mahiru doesn't want this. She never wanted this. Not back then, not now. The only one she wants to touch her like that is Hinata. The only one she trusts. Or trusted. Komaeda wraps an arm around her, pulling her dangerously close, and chuckles. She tries to push him away, but he just pulls her closer.

"No, no. Don't struggle. You'll only make it worse." His 'S's stretch out, like a snake, and before she knows it, he has her pinned to the wall, biting and nipping at the skin of her neck, ears, anywhere he can get. And she's demanding he stop, telling him, begging him. He ignores her, licking her collarbone before practically ripping off her underwear and throwing it away. She's sobbing at this point, pleading with him to stop what he's doing, but he doesn't stop. Why would he? She's been here before, and they never stop. Not until they're done. And all the while he talks about hope, how much it'll take to overcome this despair, over this and Hinata's disappearance and her old life.

It's when she feels his first thrust into her, the first painful movement, that she goes numb. It's her coping method, how it worked before. It still works. Not as effectively, she still feels the dull tingle of pain and the tears flowing down her cheeks in rivulets; still hears Komaeda's demented voice egging her on, telling her to face it like a true woman, show him the strength of her hope, all while he has her in a lewd position, slamming her into a wall with his thrusts. Yes, her method isn't the most effective, but it works well enough, and her pain addled mind wanders to Hinata, wishing he was here to protect her. Mahiru finally knows it's over when she feels the familiar heat of a man flow inside her and she finally allows herself to come back as Komaeda tosses her onto her bed. He chuckles at the sight of her, enjoying it for some messed up reason. She tries to clear her parched throat and is only able to choke out a single word.

"Why..." He finds this funny too.

"Why? What a mundane question, Koizumi. I thought someone like you would be able to at least attempt it, but seeing as how you're a bit... worn out, I think I'll tell you. Just this once. You see, I made a new friend today. What a despicable person she was. This is simply my way of outdoing her. I suppose it's also a wake up call for you. Stop dwelling on Hinata. His despair is clogging your hope." Mahiru hears the jealousy in his voice when he mentions Hinata's name and wonders what would have happened if she had never fallen in love with him. Komaeda glances at her desk for a moment and chuckles. He grabs something on it, folds it into a little paper air plane and throws it at her. It lands right in front of her face, a lucky shot, and he walks out laughing. Her plane ticket unfurls slightly.

"Better get going Koizumi. You don't wanna miss your plane."

It takes her a few moments to recover, and when she does, she moves as fast as her achy limbs can take her, rushing out the door. She barely makes it to the airport in time and falls asleep on the plane, dreaming of a flurry of snow and white hair.

* * *

A month after winter break, Mahiru finally meets the friend Komaeda mentioned. She had been feeling the effects of 'The Komaeda Event' ever since then, throwing up in the morning, having strange eating habits, and even missing her period. She knows what's going on, but she doesn't want to believe it. She sits in the park one day after class, when the weight of the situation hits her and she breaks down. Sobbing into her hands in the middle of the park, alone on the bench and alone in life. She feels a presence approach her and sit down. This isn't just a normal presence, a human body next to her. No, this is a body, coupled with an almost unbearable pressure that feels so restrictive and yet so... pleasing. It's like the presence she felt when she met Makoto Naegi from class 78, but much, much stronger.

"What's a cute girl like you doing crying here all by herself?" Mahiru looks up through her tears at the voice, surprised to find a girl. A very beautiful one at that. She wipes her eyes with her forearm, ending up looking at Junko Enoshima. Mahiru had taken a few pictures of her a long while ago, but wasn't that close to her. Which was why it was a surprise when exactly what was on her mind slipped out of her mouth.

"I-I think I'm... p... pregnant..." Why did she say that? What reason could she have for spilling her guts so easily? Junko clicks her tongue, wrapping a comforting arm around her.

"What a shame... what a shame... You're Mahiru Koizumi right? I thought you were a fuckin' feminist. How'd you get knocked up? Pretty slutty thing to do if you ask me." Junko speaks casually, like what she's saying was like talk about the weather. Despite the obvious insulting tone laced into her words, Mahiru can only feel a blossoming of relief and... joy?, as Junko speaks to her.

"Y-yeah, I g-guess. Although it was b-because of m-my _asshole_ friend who raped me." She can't believe what's coming out of her mouth. Sure, it sounds pathetic due to her hiccups from crying, but this is definitely something she wouldn't have told her closest friend. It's weird, just being around Junko was toxic, like something was infecting her. It made her feel _good_ about the thing Komaeda had caused and thinking about how she was treated back when she was a kid made her giddy. She wants to be around this girl more, just to feel this good. She hasn't felt this amazing since her time with Hinata. She listens attentively as the fashion girl speaks up again.

"Man, that's fucked up, ya know? Why don't we go... _take care_ of that problem, eh?" Junko winks at Mahiru, and she feels a burst of affection for the girl. Maybe she has a crush on her. Junko helps Mahiru up off the bench and pulls her close, so they bump shoulders. Like friends. For the first time in a while, Mahiru laughs. It sounds strange, not because of her tears though. It sounds like... Komaeda. As he leaves her room on a snowy winter afternoon. The thought gives Mahiru a shot of adrenaline. A rush. It makes her laugh again, and Junko laughs with her. The fashion girl drags Mahiru along, and by the end of the day, Mahiru's 'problem' is taken care of.

* * *

Mahiru Koizumi wails on Komaeda. She kicks and punches and scratches and breaks and laughs. He laughs too, a perverse monster. Not that she's much better. Junko Enoshima has gotten to Mahiru's class, turning them into things like her too. They love it. Despair is so much fun. Mahiru has learned to enjoy the feel of blood making her fingers slick. She enjoys hurting people and taking their pictures afterward, she enjoys capturing memories of her friend's faces in moments of pure joy as they destroy their families, the world around them, themselves. But most of all, she loves to spread Junko's delicious despair with her pictures. Someone finally loves her, adores her for what she can do. She gets so lost in her thoughts that she hurts Komaeda a bit more than she expected. Okay, a lot more than she expected. But that's okay because she loves it, and that's all that matters, isn't it? It's perfect being this way because you can do whatever you want and it feels so, so good. She heard that Junko is adding someone new to their ranks soon, and Mahiru hopes he's cute. No wait, she doesn't hope. She despairs. With that, she kicks the Super High School Level Good Luck in his ribs one last time before pulling out her camera.

"Hey, hey Komaeda! Say cheese for the camera! Don't try to look better, cause you'll still look like shit! Just smile for me, okay?" Komaeda spits out a tooth and Mahiru snaps a picture, pressing a hand to her cheek and squealing in happiness. "Oh my goodness! That was so much better than I could have despaired! Thank you Komaeda! Please try not to stay a filthy mess, you know Junko-chan would like to see you like that! You gotta look good, so she can despair about it!" And with her rousing speech completed, Mahiru skips off. Maybe she'll meet up with Mioda and they can make something happen with the concert she's planning. Maybe someone'll die again!

* * *

Nothing made sense to Mahiru Koizumi anymore. She had woken up in a school, gathering in a classroom with fifteen other kids, most of whom seemed vaguely familiar. Then some sort of rabbit toy pops up, claims to be their teacher and now she's stuck on an island? Her head hurts just thinking about it. Well she goes off to explore it with the others, leaving a white-haired kid to stay with the other guy that passed out. She sighs in disappointment. Men shouldn't be such lightweights, ya know? And just as she's exploring the new hotel they're supposedly staying at, she looks up to find, speak of the devil, the two boys from the beach. Mahiru tells the boy who passed out earlier what's on her mind. He seems to take it in stride which is well enough, she supposes. Looking at him makes her stomach flutter, like there are butterflies in there, but she brushes it off as nervousness and anxiety. Once she finishes telling him off, she changes the subject.

"You're here for introductions, aren't you? I don't think we've made ours yet. Um… My name is Mahiru Koizumi. Nice to meet you, I guess."


End file.
